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Obi-Wan Kenobi ([personal profile] hadthehighground) wrote2016-12-05 08:33 pm

Ascension Essay - Angelii

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The perfect Jedi. That's what many knew him as and believed him to be. Looked up to by younglings, admired by his peers, and spoken highly of by the highest masters. Obi-Wan Kenobi was the picture of what most Jedi aspired to be. In control of himself and his emotions, skilled in the ways of the Force, and a master of the lightsaber. Even those outside the Jedi Order admired him for his heroics in the Clone Wars. What few flaws he had often went overlooked by the serenity and wisdom he exuded.

It wasn't until the end of the war, until he had to face his best friend in battle, that his perfection wavered. Left a broken man, this was when he came to Nautilus. For it was here that he would face his friend again, still alive, decades older, and in a suit of armor. It was this one person that would help to shape the change that took place only a few months after his arrival.

After a verbal fight that left Obi-Wan with a broken jaw, he and Darth Vader were distant enemies at worst and barely tolerated each other at best. It would be a certain city shift that would be the catalyst to bring the two of them back together. One where Darth Vader was taken back to his youth as a young Jedi and hero of the Republic. While Obi-Wan himself was pushed forward into his senior years, worn and beaten by life on a harsh desert planet. With all of his memories of his exile intact.

This reunion brought enlightenment to both and emotional conversations. The aged Obi-Wan tearfully embracing the young man he had cared for and raised, and then lost in the most tragic of circumstances. Telling Anakin of what was to happen in his future in the most gentle way he could muster. Which resulted in repentance and apologies to the city at large.

Eventually though, things had to go back to the way they were. However, neither of them came out of it the same. Where Obi-Wan had seen Vader as lost, and Anakin as dead, was now profoundly changed. Having spent time with the Anakin he knew, he realized that side of him was still very much a part of Darth Vader deep down. That if he only reached out to that part of him, there may yet be hope. Maybe, just maybe, Anakin Skywalker could have life again.

With Darth Vader having been affected as well, the two of them agreed to a truce. This is what gave Obi-Wan a foot in the door, so to speak. It was from there that he persistently tried to reach out. Through kindness, understanding, and attempting to rekindle their broken friendship. Something he had thought impossible since their fated battle on Mustafar. This went as far as to playing friendly games of Dejarik together. Though their conversations often ended with the two of them butting heads, it certainly wasn't for lack of trying. They still disagreed on many things, and trust is not something that is built over night after all. Still, Obi-Wan persisted and kept trying.

It wasn't without ups and downs though. Obi-Wan still knew what his former friend was capable of, and knew that if the Sith acted violently, he would have to step in. One day he did just that when Vader began Force choking Kylo Ren over the network. The Jedi quickly swooped in, at first asking the Sith to cease. When that didn't work, a lightsaber battle ensued. One that resulted in Obi-Wan's loss, and yet Vader refused to kill him. It was then, that he knew, that his efforts had not been in vain.

It was after this event, and when Vader severed General Hux's arm, that things would take another turn. Deemed a threat by the Task Force and most of those in Nautilus, Obi-Wan feared for Darth Vader's well being. Especially after having heard others planning to take action between the two events. Obi-Wan quickly went to Vader and persuaded him to come with him into voluntary exile in Helix. For his own safety as well as everyone else's. Believing that Vader would not be best helped through normal means of justice or vengeance.

A Jedi, helping a Sith Lord evade punishment for his crimes. It was unheard of. The Jedi were the sworn enemies of the Sith. Pledged to uphold justice and peace in their galaxy. Obi-Wan most of all having been the one to go by the book. Now, instead of that, he went by his feelings. Knowing full well that he might be branded a traitor, helping someone who was a clear threat to everyone's safety. He didn't care, and thus made Darth Vader his top priority. Even going so far as to defend, as well as chastise, the dark lord. A risky move that would soon pay off.

It was in Helix that the two lived together for an entire month. Sharing the same space that they made a home. With Obi-Wan tending to their needs, and Vader passing time with his own projects. Little did they know that this arrangement would bring them closer than ever before. An evening filled with nightmares led to a concerned Vader trying to ease Obi-Wan's suffering. Bringing Obi-Wan into a meditative state where he was pulled deeper into the Force than he ever could alone. It was through this that their severed bond slowly began to mend. Then later, through a deeper conversation, Obi-Wan revealed Padme's fate to Darth Vader. What he had actually tried to tell him before, which resulted in that broken jaw. Only this time, it brought forth sudden realizations and grief. To the point that Vader was begging for help, in the literal and metaphorical sense. Something that Obi-Wan was all to happy to provide. Showing his beloved friend mercy and unconditional love. It was perhaps at this time that he truly forgave Darth Vader for the atrocities that he had committed against the Jedi. A point where they both were ready to move into a new chapter of their lives.

It was also during this time that the idea of Vader bending back his old body was brought up, and seriously considered. After spending a great deal of time planning, and preparing, they returned to Nautilus. It was a lengthy and difficult procedure, one that required trust, which they had carefully built over the past month. It was Obi-Wan that was Vader's lifeline while he used bending to restore his body. Giving his own power and strength to help the man remain alive and conscious, while also manipulating the pieces of armor and equipment that he had carefully studied. It was no less than a labor of love that drove him, and ultimately led to success.

The following weeks resulted in the two never leaving each other. Obi-Wan always remaining close, helping Vader readjust to life outside of his suit of armor. Not only that, but they became ever closer. What was again a friendship and familial love, slowly became something more. Their bond transcending what was appropriate for a Jedi and even leading to physical intimacy. All of which Obi-Wan knew went against everything he had been taught among the Jedi. However, Darth Vader had become more important to him than anything else, even his cherished Jedi Code. On top of that, the two of them had begun to find balance within each other. Obi-Wan's light, and Vader's darkness, leveling the other out. In this state Obi-Wan was finding a happiness he had never known before. An attachment, forbidden by the Jedi, that was for the better good.

However, Darth Vader wasn't the only one he had developed feelings for. Jane Foster, whom he had been cultivating a friendship with for some time, had become something more as well. Something that had to be pointed out to him by Darth Vader himself. Not wanting to upset or lose either of them, this left Obi-Wan in a rather compromising situation. Something he never had to deal with before as such relationships were, again, forbidden by the Jedi. After talking things out with the both of them, he found himself in an official relationship with them both. Dating Jane while also not leaving Darth Vader, and everyone being okay with it, for the sake of his own happiness. Pursuing happiness never having been something Obi-Wan was inclined to as he was always the selfless Jedi who only thought of others. But now, was he perhaps being a bit selfish? Indulging in feelings, attachments, and physical pleasures that were unbecoming of a proper Jedi? Was it wrong that he enjoyed it? These are things he continues to wonder, and yet is slowly accepting.

Happiness, something that's often eluded him, isn't always meant to last forever though. A new storm would bring with it new change. Turning Obi-Wan from the path of the Jedi to that of the Sith. In which he committed unspeakable acts, including murder of more than one individual. Even drawing a Vader who had returned to the light, back into the darkness. This led to the both of them being exiled to Helix, where Vader's form instantly reverted and caused his demise. It was now that Obi-Wan knew the price of his attachment. Grief stricken at having watched the horrifying death of his friend and loved one.

Now, he struggles with the lingering seed of darkness that has tainted him. While he may now be in his right mind, the effects of the Dark Side are not something that can completely be rid of once one has touched it. Willingly or not, he remembered it all, and how it felt. From this day forward, this Jedi's path will again change as he now must increase his efforts not to be consumed by that darkness. What this means for him in the future, is something that only time can tell. Regardless, this man is not the same as he was before his arrival. Embracing love, attachments, the desires of the flesh, and now having experienced the Dark Side. He is no longer that perfect Jedi. Far from it in fact.

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