hadthehighground: (Baby)
Obi-Wan Kenobi ([personal profile] hadthehighground) wrote2020-06-16 11:56 am

Ryslig: Jedi Dreams (CW: Death, Bugs, Gore, Trauma)

The screech of the mother skink echoed across the landscape. Like many, Obi-Wan was not immune to its effects. The last thing he saw was his own turquoise pet rearing its own head to let out a screech of its own. Then he was down, falling into unconsciousness.

---

The next thing he knew he was awaking in a very familiar place. In a bed that felt like his own. In fact, it was his own, or it had been once.

Sitting up, he looked around and realized he was in his quarters in the Jedi Temple. The view of Coruscant and distant passing speeders seen from the window. He rose and pulled on his every day robes, looking around in confusion. This was home, and yet, why did it not feel right? It was where he belonged, and yet it wasn't at the same time. He could feel the Force, and while that was comforting, there were a strange sense of not all being right. He had a bad feeling about this.

Once he pulled on his boots, Obi-Wan left his room and made his way into the halls. That's when he stopped in his tracks. Immediately he had walked into the open common area of the temple, and there was destruction and death all around him. An oppressive feeling of of grief and sorrow suddenly coming over him. There were bodies. Everywhere. The robed figures of Jedi, of all ages, scattered about the polished floors. Scorch marks from blaster fire maring the once pristine walls.

Falling to his knees, he could hardly bear the weight and burden of the sadness that fell upon him. The sight of his friends and comrades, slain, was too much. The deafening silence was then broken by the distant cries of a baby. Blue eyes widening, Obi-Wan then pushed himself to his feet and ran. Ran past the bodies, darting from room to room, looking for the source of the crying. Every room he passed through causing him to view terrible memories. There was the palace generator room in Theed, the place of Qui-Gon's death. The throne room in the Sundari palace, where Satine had died. The control room on Mustafar with a view of the lava field where he had fought Anakin. All places that should not be in the Jedi Temple, and yet they were. Still he went on, trying to find the baby that was in distress. Eventually he found it as he passed into another room, the medbay where Padme had given birth and met her own demise. The tiny child was swaddled and lying on the table, wailing and crying as he was left neglected.

"Luke," he said softly and gently picked up the child, holding him close in an attempt to comfort the baby. Eventually, Luke's cries quieted and he looked up at his savior with a whimper.

"Oh Luke, forgive me."

He hadn't meant to leave him here alone. To leave him on a desert planet unprotected as he was whisked away to another world. Yet he had done just that. How could he make it up to him? To Padme? To Anakin? To the entire galaxy that was now under the boot of an evil Sith Lord. All because of him. This was his doing. It was his fault. None of this would have happened if he had been a better Jedi.

Choking with emotion, Obi-Wan sank down to the floor, still crading Luke in his arms as tears now streaked his own cheeks. He couldn't bear the weight any longer. He felt as if he would suffocate, as if it would crush him. It was so great that he didn't even notice the shuffling steps and taping of a cane against the floor as someone joined him.

"Lost, are you, Obi-Wan? Hm?"

Blinking, he looked up, and suddenly found himself in a different place. It was the courtyard. Sunlight bathing the stone as he sat at the base of the great Uneti tree. A short, green, and elderly figure was now before him. The baby gone from his arms.

"Master?"

He was surprised at his own voice. Higher pitched and definitely younger. He felt the brush of a Padawan's braid against his shoulder. As he stood, Yoda's height was most definitely closer to his own than it had been before.

"Master, no. I..." He looked around, feeling more at peace here. Yet the lingering sadness still remained. "I don't know how I got here."

Yoda's face scrunched up a bit as he regarded the young human he now was. Tapping his stick against the cobblestone.

"If know the way, you do not. Then lost you are. See it, I can."

While he wanted to argue, there wasn't anything to say to that. Plus he knew better than to argue with Master Yoda. Most of the time, anyway. The little wrinkled Jedi then turned and beckoned him to follow.

"Come, young Padawan. Find your path, we will."

Obediently he followed, keeping pace with the elderly Jedi Master as he hobbled along. Though he paused as they came to a dark doorway, and turned to look back at the beautiful meditation garden. He didn't want to leave. He knew that only pain and darkness was waiting for him beyond the door. He would much rather stay here, in the warmth and light.

"No, Obi-Wan!" Yoda's stick harshly tapped the ground as he chastised him. "Remember your training, you must. A Jedi does not look back. The past, gone it is. Learn from it, yes. Live in it, you can not."

Startled by the chastising, Obi-Wan blinked and then dipped his head regretfully, knowing what he said was correct.

"Yes, Master."

He then proceeded to follow Yoda into the dark corridor beyond. Except it wasn't a corridor. Suddenly he was falling, and falling, until he finally hit a cold and unforgiving floor. Surrounded by darkness with no sign of Yoda. He called out for him, but there was no reply. Except for the sounds of skittering and squeaking. A sense of dread and fear suddenly overcoming him, followed by terror as a flood of insects started crawling all over him. Firebeetles! He screamed, thrashing and flailing as the bugs started chewing through his skin.

"MASTER! MASTER HELP ME! GET THEM OFF!"

Yoda's voice then echoed off the dark walls that he couldn't see. Infuriatingly calm even if urgent.

"Remember your training, young Padawan! Give into fear, a Jedi can not!"

Remember his training. Remember his training? Obi-Wan continued trying to fend off the beetles until it finally struck him. A mantra that he had learned from the very beginning. Stopping his struggle, he then tried to calm himself. Tried to ignore the beetles that were feasting on his flesh as he recited those words.

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. Beware the Dark Side, Jedi!"

Letting go of his fear, the firebeetles then vanished. Looking up, he saw light pouring in from above. With one swift leap, he jumped out of the pit and landed next to where Yoda stood. The old Jedi looking up at him with approval. Also, was he taller now? As if knowing what he was thinking, the master replied.

"As you overcome, grow in the Force, you do."

Again Yoda motioned for him to follow, and follow he did. With a renewed confidence he let Yoda lead. They walked the long corridor through the Jedi Temple, that distant grief was still there, and growing gradually as they went on. However, he then caught sight of a strange door. One that was locked and sealed. Curious, he couldn't help but stop to look at it.

"Master? What is this?"

Coming up next to him, Yoda looked up at the door grimly.

"A place you must never go, Obi-Wan. Death. Destruction. Pain. Only that, will you find. Come."

A rather cryptic answer, but when was Master Yoda ever not cryptic? With one more glance at the door, Obi-Wan followed him. As they went on, the oppressive emotion started weighing more on him, and found it increasingly difficult. Especially with what he saw next. Another door, this time blocked by a red ray shield. Beyond was the generator room in Theed again. A distant scream echoing the through the halls.

"Noooooo!

Obi-Wan paused, not wanting to go on. "No Master, I can't. Don't make me go there."

Yoda sighed quietly, knowing the pain it would bring. "Brought you here, I have not. To this place, you come, Obi-Wan. Many times, you have."

Looking from the old Master back to the room, he walked forward just as the ray shield dropped. With Yoda standing and watching with a pained expression. What greeted Obi-Wan was much what he expected. On the floor laid the body of his master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Immediately the grief fell upon him, as well as a rage that bubbled up from within. He could feel his breath quicken as the anger rolled.

Looking up, he noticed a strange gash in the wall of the generator room, and a flash of red that disappeared within. Taking up his lightsaber, he ignited it, and ran in pursuit. Ducking into the dark chamber where he faced a snarling demon of a man. He had red skin with black tattoos, a head crowned with horns, and a double bladed red lightsaber. With a seething hatred he attacked. A flurry of light surrounding him and his opponent as their weapons streaked through the air, occasionally clashing with fury.

"Anger. Hatred. Revenge. The Jedi way, this is not."

He heard Yoda's words, but still fought the phantom before him. Hot angry tears streaking his face as he battled this dark creature who had taken his father figure from him long before his time.

"Let go, Obi-Wan. Or consume you, it will."

Let go. How could he let go? But he knew he had to. He was treading into the Dark Side, and if he didn't withdraw, he would lose himself to it. He could feel it swirling around him, taunting, tempting, like a fog. Pulling back, Obi-Wan ceased his assault. The Sith's expression twisted in rage as he pushed away the Dark Side and let the light back in. That double-bladed red lightsaber aiming to strike him down. But before it could connect, Obi-Wan felt himself fall again. This time landing on the floor of the corridor, right in front of the sealed door he had noticed earlier.

Gasping in surprise, he blinked and noticed that his Padawan braid was gone. Instead he could feel longer hair against the back of his neck. Still laying on his back, he heard footsteps and looked to the source.

"Master?" ... But it wasn't Yoda. Instead he could see Dooku, and Anakin. The two of them now engaged in battle. Obi-Wan tried to reach out but pain stopped him, leaving him paralyzed. Only able to watch as his apprentice was defeated. His arm severed and his body tossed aside like a rag doll.

"Anakin!"

After much effort, he was finally able to get to his feet. Once more he ran, trying to reach his Padawan. Except he couldn't for some strange reason. The more he tried to reach him, the further away he seemed to go. To the point that he was running down hallways, while Anakin walked away with his back turned to him.

"Anakin! ANAKIN! Come back!"

As he chased after his friend, he passed bodies, ducked through blaster fire, dodged droids and clones. All the while trying to reach the person he loved more than anything. Only he didn't seem to care. His focus on something else, or perhaps someone else? Eventually though, he seemed to gain ground. Finally, reaching out he grasped Anakin's shoulder, only to have him turn around and stare at him with rage-filled yellow eyes.

"I HATE YOU!"

The next thing he knew they were surrounded by lava, and Anakin was attacking. Obi-Wan forced to defend himself and severing Anakin's limbs from his body with his own lightsaber. As the other man crumpled to the ground, his body erupted into flames. His screams piercing the air. Falling to his knees, Obi-Wan couldn't watch. He couldn't bear to see his friend burned alive again. Not again. And yet he felt as if he had watched this very thing countless times. Bending over, he couldn't hold back his sobs. Didn't notice as the lava faded away and was replaced by polished floors again. He only looked up when he heard a familiar voice.

"Grief. Despair. Blame. Burdened yourself, you have, Obi-Wan."

And he felt it. That heavy sadness was pressing down on him again, threatening to smother the very life out of him.

"Allowed your guilt to consume you. The Jedi way, this is not."

Obi-Wan felt a prick of anger. Anger at what though? At Yoda? For being right? Or was it at himself?

"In case you haven't noticed, Master. The Jedi are gone. Everyone is dead, and there is nothing left."

Yoda's face scrunched up in disapproval. "Need to tell me this, you do not."

He would feel guilty, but his indignance persisted.

"It's my fault, Master! I failed to train Anakin. His fall is just as much my fault as it is Palpatine's. It's my fault that Qui-Gon perished. Had he lived, he might have trained Anakin to be the Jedi that he was meant to be. I failed in my promise to him, and now the Jedi are gone and the Galaxy is in peril."

Feeling a strange weight on his head, he then looked down at his hands. Saw the claws, the tail that was now curling around him.

"I'm no Jedi, master. I can't even feel the Force anymore. I'm nothing more than a monster now."

It was then that he felt a sharp pain as Yoda's stick cracked upon his head. Biting back a yelp, Obi-Wan grimaced and stared at the Jedi Master in disbelief.

"NO. Wrong you are, Obi-Wan."

Speechless, he just stared at Yoda who closed his eyes and let out a long deep sigh.

"To be cut off from the Force. For a Jedi, a great loss that is, yes. Changed physically, you have, but this a monster does not make you. Only here."

And he poked at Obi-Wan's chest with his stick.

"Only, if you allow it."

Looking down at his chest, the grief still clenched his heart. He looked up again, feebly trying to argue.

"But master..."

Yoda held up a stubby three-fingered hand to silence him.

"Search your feelings, Obi-Wan. The truth, you know. Without the Force, you may be. Gone, the others are. Matter, this does not. A Jedi you are, and a Jedi you will always be."

Staring at him in silence for several moments, Obi-Wan took in Yoda's words. Slowly he felt the sadness lift. It was still there, but it was not as oppressive. He felt... comforted.

The cries of a baby then filled the air again and Obi-Wan looked over. Reaching out, he scooped up Luke into his arms yet again. The babe's cries being soothed as soon as he felt the human touch. His gaze then turning back to Yoda who gave him a wrinkled smile.

"Know, what you must do. Like this child, there are others. A Jedi, they need."

Gently rocking the little baby, Luke eventually fell into a peaceful slumber. Carefully, he put him into a nearby cradle. The ever watchful Yoda looking on.

"Go, now. With you, I will be."

Standing to his full height, Obi-Wan looked down at his old mentor and bowed respectfully.

"Yes, master. ... Thank you."

With that, he turned, a renewed purpose in his step. Strengthened and guided by the voice in his mind that had always been there. That had never left. It had only been drowned out until now.

Walking through the temple doors, he went on into the world of dreams. Seeking out others who were here with him and may need a little guidance of their own. Because he was a Jedi, and it was the Jedi way.

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