hadthehighground | Duplicity IC Inbox

Well, there was this one mission that turned things around. Though it wasn’t without some strife beforehand. Qui-Gon had been offered a seat on the council, but naturally he couldn’t accept and have a Padawan at the same time.

[Obi-Wan sighed softly as he remembered the time. It had been a rather tumultuous point in his life.]

He didn’t tell me. At least not at first. I felt something was amiss and suspected he wanted to drop me as his apprentice. We had just had a rough mission before that. I knew I wasn’t meeting his expectations, and I admit it hurt. Even more so when I learned he was keeping things from me.

However, during our time on Pijal, we were confronted with an enemy that had lightsaber resistant armor. Qui-Gon and I were pursued and surrounded. I fell into a pit at one point and it took all of my Jedi training not to give into fear. It was at that point I felt a deep connection to the Force. Suddenly I saw everything with more clarity, and was able to finally connect with Qui-Gon. Together we managed to defeat our opponent and escape. That was the turning point in our relationship as master and apprentice.

[ The feeling of not meeting expectations is a familiar one, even if Cal is pretty sure it was just imagination in his case. Especially now that he thinks back on his time with Master Tapal, he's all the more certain that Tapal was never disappointed in him for his struggles.

Not to say there were no expectations, of course. He just struggled a lot with accepting that things didn't just come easily.

While the story is very different from his own experiences, there's something familiar in it too. It seems finding yourself in a situation where everything feels lost opens your mind to a greater understanding of things. It wasn't until the kyber crystal shattered in his palm and he saw no way of continuing their quest to find the holocron that he was open to truly begin healing. ]

So he decided to keep you.

[ There's a slight pause, and he sighs quietly through his nose. ]

I struggled with not meeting my own expectations.

He did, and declined the offer to join the council.

[Obi-Wan smiles in a bit of a melancholy way. The memories were bittersweet, and while they were old, still stirred certain feelings within him.

As Cal mentions his own struggles though, he turns his full attention on the young man.]

And why is that?

I thought it would be easy. All the physical training was was easy for me, so when using the Force wasn't, I got frustrated.

[Obi-Wan in understanding at what Cal said.]

It’s good to remember that each of us has our different gifts. Some things come easier to us than others.

Anakin was naturally very gifted in many aspects. He excelled so well that he often got impatient, wanting to push ahead in his training faster than he should. Though there were things he struggled with as well.

In contrast I was not naturally gifted and the Force didn’t come easily for me. My talents were with the lightsaber and with diplomacy.

[ His eyebrows raise slightly in surprise and recognition. It's ... nice to know that Obi-Wan knows what it's like to not be gifted with the Force, that they're similar in that way. Maybe that will help. ]

Speaking of gifts. I was born with a rare Force ability. Psychometry.

[ Since Obi-Wan is a Master and was on the council, he at least shouldn't need an explanation. ]

[Obi-Wan does know what that is, and his brows raise slightly in surprise and intrigue.]

Really? That is quite rare, but I did know another Jedi with that ability. He was quite proficient at it, and used his gift for tracking.

[Reaching to his belt, Obi-Wan removes his lightsaber and offers it to Cal.]

Edited 2021-10-27 21:09 (UTC)

[ He nods along, but before he can talk about the ways it's helped him, Obi-Wan offers his lightsaber. There's a moment's hesitation, because he still remembers very clearly how forcefully the echo around Trilla's gripped him, but he highly doubts this will be that unpleasant. So he reaches out to take it. ]

[Obi-Wan normally wouldn’t do this, but if he was going to train Cal he needed an idea of where he was at. Plus if there was a way for the young Jedi to know his master, this could be the best. Though he notices the hesitation. He wont make Cal take it if he doesn’t want to, but he does.

Plus he’s only had this particular lightsaber for a few years. Through the war and well… the end of it. The memories wouldn’t all be good but they wouldn’t all be bad either.]

What does it tell you?

[ It doesn't pull him in with the same force as Trilla's lightsaber did. Perhaps it's because the first memories are lighter. No less intense, but filled with love and warmth rather than fear and grief and hatred. Obi-Wan and Anakin were very close. Like family.

Which only makes the betrayal even worse. Cal takes a harsh breath at the sensation of it pulling at his very soul and twisting in his chest, and his eyes fall shut as the echo takes over almost all of his senses. The heat on his face, the weight of grief, Anakin's eyes filled with rage and, somewhere deeper down, perhaps pain. The sound of Anakin's scream as he caught fire.

It takes a few moments for him to come out of it, to open his eyes and ease his grip on the lightsaber. After he takes another breath, much more controlled, he finally looks back at Obi-Wan. ]

You fought him.

[Watching Cal closely and quietly, he can sense the young man’s emotions as he catches glimpses of the lightsaber’s memory. It was a gift he himself did not have, at least not to the extent that Cal clearly did. When he opened his eyes again and spoke, Obi-Wan nodded wordlessly.

Reaching out his hand again, the lightsaber lifted from Cal’s and gently floated to its owner. He didn’t have to know who the Padawan was referring to, it was clear what it had showed him.]

That was the day the Republic fell, and the Jedi Order ceased to be.

[ He swallows past the lump in his throat. Even though Luke had already told him about Anakin Skywalker's betrayal, seeing and feeling it like that is something else. Tears the wound open again. ]

Do you ...

[ His voice trembles more than he'd like it to, and he shakes his head as he sucks in a breath between his teeth. It's not shame or anything like that, but he'd like to actually properly get the words out. This is important.

Not that it helps. It still trembles. ]

It's still a mystery to me. What happened with the clones? Do you know?

[There is a long silence from Obi-Wan as he considers that particular question. It hurt to think about, and obviously Cal felt the same way. His confusion being all too understandable. The clones had been their allies, even their friends. Which is what made their sudden betrayal so difficult.

After a moment though, the Jedi nods quietly.]

I think I do.

[He didn’t know every detail, but he had time to think about it and put the pieces together.]

They were being controlled by the very man who orchestrated the entire war.

[ He takes a deep breath, thinking back to the conversation he'd had with Luke about Anakin Skywalker, about how he'd turned. Who influenced him, who seized control as soon as the Jedi Order was gone. ]

Palpatine.

[ It's not a question. At this point, he's pretty sure. It must be. ]

[Obi-Wan nods in quiet affirmation. The sadness in his voice reaching his eyes as he spoke.]

Yes.

[He had been right under their noses the entire time. The Sith Lord that they had been looking for. Planning the war and the destruction of the Jedi.]

It’s not their fault.

[ When he breathes out, it shakes a little. He can't quite work out what it is he's feeling. There's a sense of relief, knowing that the clones hadn't wanted to, that what they did have wasn't a lie. Mostly, though, there's grief. Did they ever come to their senses and realise what they'd done? What had Palpatine done to them afterwards? ]

I see.

[ It's barely audible. He leans back, sinking into the cushion as he tilts his head back. ]

[Obi-Wan can feel the pain rolling off the young man. A pain that he was all too familiar with. The clones had been comrades and even friends. It was a cruel tactic that only a Sith Lord could contrive. Though he couldn’t say whether the men realized what happened or not.]

That being said, many perished. Far too many. Aside from yourself, your friend, and Master Yoda, I don’t personally know of anyone else who survived.

Edited 2022-02-25 15:44 (UTC)

Yeah.

[ Another pause, another deep breath. There's so much to talk about, so many things he can't help but think Obi-Wan has to know. He's not really worried about talking about it, but it feels a little like staring down a pit. ]

Palpatine knew they didn't get everyone. They've been trying to track down the last of us. Do you know about the Inquisitors?

That doesn’t surprise me. Master Yoda fought Palpatine, but was unable to defeat him and fled. And of course there’s Anakin…

[He stops there, feeling the lump in his throat. They obviously knew that he was still alive. So it would stand to reason they would expect others. But his brow then creased slightly in confusion.]

Inquisitors? No, I don’t.

Some of us Padawans, they ... The Empire captured them and turned them to the dark side to hunt down the remaining Jedi. Darth Vader trained them. I don't know how many they've killed but I'm pretty sure they've found a few in the past five years.

They would have killed me on Bracca if Cere didn't show up.

Well that sure is a bombshell.

For several moments Obi-Wan could only stare at Cal, completely speechless. It was bad enough that so many younglings and Padawans had been slaughtered, but this was a different kind of evil. The scope of Anakin’s betrayal sinking in even more.

“Padawans turned against their own people?”

Clearly this was something Obi-Wan hadn’t even considered as a possibility. It was unfathomable to him. And yet before it happened, he never would have thought Anakin capable of what he did. And now he knows his own Padawan used children to kill other Jedi.

At first, he only nods, as he tries to decide how to continue. At some point, he should tell Obi-Wan about the holocron and the fight to get it. Wonder if he'd support the choice to destroy it.

For now, he decides to skip that.

"One of them was Cere's Padawan. I encountered her several times afterwards. During one of our fights, I managed to disarm her and took her lightsaber. I got to ... I saw what they did to her. The echo was so powerful I couldn't see anything else, or move. It was really painful. I don't want that to happen again. To be overwhelmed like that. Do you know if it's possible to learn to control it better?"

He doesn’t doubt that it was painful to see that. Obi-Wan is pained at the mere thought of it. Yet Cal didn’t have the personal connection that he did with Darth Vader… with Anakin. Right now he’s glad he doesn’t have Cal’s ability, because he’s certain that seeing something like that might destroy him.

“It is possible,” Obi-Wan says quietly. Frowning softly as he considers it. “Admittedly I’m not the best teacher as I don’t have the skill myself, not to that extent. I can feel impressions, echoes, feelings, but certainly not so vividly. But I think I can help you regardless.”

"Well, the chances of me finding someone who has psychometry and can control it is next to none. As far as I can tell it's not really something you can control anyway, just ... I'm hoping it's possible to stop it controlling me like that."

The echoes will happen regardless, that much he's certain of. Most of them aren't like that. Next time, though, he might not be so lucky that his opponent thinks they have something more important to do.

“It’s like any other skill, it takes practice and discipline, as well as time. You need to become familiar and comfortable with it. Only then will you reach the point where it will not control you.”

It was the same for controlling one’s force powers in general. Every now and then a youngling would crop up whose force abilities were beyond what they could manage. It wasn’t until they learned the ways of the Jedi that they could effectively use their abilities. Cal’s psychometry was of a similar thread, but his training was cut short due to the purge.

Now here comes the questions.

“How often do you meditate?”

Edited 2022-02-26 01:03 (UTC)

Duplicity IC Inbox

Sorry this took so long

All good! <3

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>_> <_< Hope you don’t mind me tagging this lol.

Not at all!

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