hadthehighground | Folkmore Inbox

The reassuring gesture draws a small smile. Obi-Wan would be okay, but he had used that to make a point. He then continues to listen and raises his brows.

“Did she? Well, then I suspect after all that time she no longer wants to take things slow and careful.”

He then gives Ezra a more pointed look.

“You should talk to her certainly. But first I think you need to decide if you’re ready to take things further or not.”

"My heart says yes." That part is swift and sure. "I need to - she was raised in duty and honor. She's nearly the only person I've met on my journeys that hasn't been confused or repelled when I explained Jedi traditions to her, or the idea my parents might have given me to the Order. She was there when I made my oath. But I need to make sure-"

Another breath. "That she understands I'm not setting that oath aside. And that, that she's not just....resigned to it, either."

A softer whisper. "I don't want that for her."

Obi-Wan’s expression softens as he continues to listen. A bit of wistfulness in his smile. Ezra reminding him so much of himself one point in time. Before he had ever come to this world.

“She truly doesn’t value self above all else. That’s a rare thing.”

Because he knows what Ezra means. There are so many who think personal happiness was a right that should come at any or almost any cost. The Jedi were not like that and most couldn’t comprehend their ways much less accept them.

“You have a difficult choice to make. Both of you. But whatever you decide, you need to make sure you stick with it.”

Ezra would certainly like her to have more personal happiness.

He also needs to make sure she doesn't feel like she would be betraying an oath to the man - Tyrion Lannister - who was her would be husband. Ezra has no such qualms, because in his view Sansa was never given the chance to freely consent, and had not. That's not a marriage. But if Sansa believes she's betraying herself in some way, that no basis for a partnership, either.

That's not Ezra's secret to tell, here, however.

"I know. Neither of us are the sort to enter into that sort of relationship...lightly." He sighs out. "I'm not a padawan anymore, and you don't know Sansa well yet, but. You have perspective that I don't. If you have concerns I'm missing." He shoots Obi-Wan a rueful half-smile. "Now's a good time to tell me."

There’s certainly nothing wrong with personal happiness, only when it becomes a singular focus. He would wish the same for her and Ezra both. And yet there’s this hesitation on his part. Which is only emphasized by the last thing Ezra says.

The Jedi Master takes an uneasy breath. It’s clear that he isn’t entirely comfortable with all of this. For a multitude of reasons.

“No, you’re not a Padawan anymore,” he says quietly. A thought that pained him a little as their time together as master and apprentice had been so… brief. “Neither was Anakin,” he continued, letting that hang for a moment.

“I know what it’s like to have these feelings, and to get swept up in them. I told Anakin much the same once. Unlike you, he wasn’t inclined to listen and was much deeper into it than I realized.”

There is regret in his tone. Wishing he had tried harder, had done something sooner to keep that disaster from happening. He knew it was useless to think that way, but letting it go was easier said than done.

“I know you’re not him, and I do trust you.” A pause. “There is no order here or back home anymore. Despite that, we had our rules for a reason. I find it difficult to think that such a relationship, and remaining a Jedi, would be compatible.”

Ezra is silent for a time.

"I do get that. At least, I think I do. But my experiences are-" Different.

"Kanan- Hera helped Kanan want to be a Jedi again. To look beyond just...getting by and keeping his head down. Take the risks. Take a risk on me."

“He was fortunate then,” Obi-Wan says quietly. He doesn’t know the circumstances or that he would have agreed with Kanan’s decisions, but he was glad for the outcome in Ezra.

It was something he knew he would never have. Whether it be circumstance such as hiding in solitude on Tatooine for 20 years, or his own beliefs and fears holding him back. It was simply how it would be. However…

“No matter what I might think or feel on it though, I won’t hold you back.”

"He was." Ezra does believe that. " And thank you," the younger man replies, solemnly.

"I didn't want it to be...a secret. Or something you didn't feel like you could talk to me about, if you think you see something, um. Really concerning."

That gets a little chuckle out of Obi-Wan. “Oh it wasn’t a secret.” Obi-Wan had known since Ezra introduced him to Sansa. Despite the time gap he remembers that well.

“But don’t worry, if I do see something concerning, I will be sure to tell you.”

Ezra makes a put upon face and gently grumbles, "You know what I mean." He's pretty sure Padmé and Anakin weren't remotely as much a secret as they thought, but the 'secret' certainly caused problems anyway, didn't it?

More firmly he adds, "Good."

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