hadthehighground | Empatheias IC Inbox

None of my- Hey. Wait!

[ Anakin calls after the Jedi, his frustration rising. He follows, but remains outside the door to the room. ]

Why won't you talk to me?!

[And Anakin will find a door shut in his face. And he will only get one reply.]

You will have to figure out dinner for yourself tonight, Anakin. I'm tired.

This isn't about dinner, Obi-Wan!

[ He's shouting through the door. ]

And you're not even answering me. Why are you making this so complicated?

[Qui-Gon isn't known for his patience unless there's a lesson to be learned or a mission that calls for it. He's even less known for it when it comes to matters of a more childish nature.]

[You know, like two grown men having a shouting match in the middle of a house full of people who should theoretically know better.]

[It's why his own door swings open to allow six feet and four inches of angry Jedi to storm out, a glower darkening his features as his gaze hones in on Anakin. Despite the very visible frustration on Qui-Gon's face, his voice is quiet, if not somewhat menacing.]

Enough.

[ Anakin instantly turns to Qui-Gon once he appears, flinching briefly at the sight, but then refusing to back away. Instead, he gets defensive. Of course, being the only one out here, he now has to deal with Qui-Gon... ]

I just asked him a question!

If this is the reaction you received, then either that is not the case, or it was a question that Obi-Wan does not want to answer. Either way, his wishes should be respected and not turned into a spectacle.

Now, for your sake and for the sake of everyone else in this house, I firmly suggest you leave the matter be.

[Old people get cranky when their meditation session's been interrupted. It's like waking them up from a nap.]

[It goes double when it turns out dinner's cancelled, too.]

[ Biting his lip, Anakin clenches his hands into fists by his sides. Of course he's the bad guy now. He turns his head to the side to glare at the closed door again, a mix of anger, frustration and disappointment radiating clear off of him.

With his voice low, he speaks again. ]

If he can't answer me, he doesn't trust me. If he doesn't trust me, I might as well leave.

[ And he lets his eyes drop to the floor. ]

I want my lightsaber back, then I'm gone.

Don't be ridiculous.

[Seriously, Anakin. Qui-Gon's all about validating emotions and making sure people's concerns are heard, but this is too much!]

Obi-Wan is entitled to his privacy. It isn't a matter of trust, but a matter of respecting the fact that there are things he doesn't want to speak about.

The correct response isn't to try and drag an answer out of him, but to stand back and let him know that when he is ready to share, you will be there to listen.

Wouldn't you want the same deference shown to you?

-doesn't want to speak about with me, you mean.

[ He sends Qui-Gon a sharp look. ]

I'm sure he'd tell you what's bothering him - His fellow Jedi Master.

[ The increasing spite is obvious in his voice. That, and a fresh, yet old surge of anger. ]

But maybe you don't trust me neither. That's why I have to learn everything from outside sources or by chance instead of those I thought to be my friends. I had to learn about Leia from a stranger. Her wedding? I was given a hint from someone else that time. And I have to walk into an argument to learn that there are duplicates of my lightsaber around - That seemingly everyone else was well aware of! And if I dare asking questions?

[ He motions towards the closed door. ]

This is the response I receive? Don't call me ridiculous, Qui-Gon.

[ By this time, Anakin is practically seething, but he also takes a step back, physically distancing himself from the other man. ]

This is what I've always hated about you Jedi.

[ And he's verbally distancing himself. No, Qui-Gon. It was never just Palpatine's fault that Anakin went to the Dark Side. The Jedi Council was just as well to blame for that turn, and Anakin is starting to feel just as unfairly treated here... ]

[Just as Anakin's rage builds, Qui-Gon keeps his own anger in check, relying on his calm to counteract the negativity. His tone remains level, but firm—conceding to Anakin's entitlement would make things worse in the long run, but provoking him further would probably burn down the entire house. That's too much of a pain to deal with right now.]

[He catches both aspects of Anakin's distancing, but makes no move to close their physical gap. There's already too much to unpack emotionally.]

There are things Obi-Wan has never told me, and probably never will. As someone who trusts and respects him and his wishes, I don't try to force him to reveal anything he doesn't want to. He treats me and my wishes the same way.

I can understand the frustration that comes with having information kept from you, Anakin, but demanding that others bend to your will against theirs isn't fostering trust—it's destroying it more. If you want others, your fellow Jedi and otherwise, to open up with you, then start showing us we can by not reacting this way. And be understanding in turn when we reveal that there are simply things we do not want to share.

[ Anakin snarls and looks away, lowering his gaze. As much as he wants to keep raging at the Jedi, he finds it hard. But he finds it just as hard to calm himself down again. But he's silent for a long while. ]

I... I'm not demanding of him to tell me his personal secrets.

[ He finally says, feeling the fist he hasn't been aware he is clenching tremble as he speaks, lingering anger now mixing with embarrassment over his own behavior upon being faced with the Master's calm. ]

But these matters... They concerned me. I would have rather learned them from a friend than from beings I hardly know!

[ Angry hot tears threaten to spill, but Anakin fights them back. For now. But he does look back up, spreading his arms somewhat. ]

These things were bound to come out, Qui-Gon. And look where it has led to try and keep them secret!

[ This is why he told Ahsoka right away... And with this, Anakin moves, still angry, to move past Qui-Gon and towards the front door. ]

[Qui-Gon clearly wants to say something else, give something for Anakin to think about as he walks away.]

[But the younger man is already volatile, and anything else that Qui-Gon can add would only be pouring salt into a very open and confused wound. So he lets Anakin pass, stoicism keeping his features neutral and as if the (almost literal) blow up never occurred.]

[They could talk more once Anakin has calmed down... if he ever calms down.]

Edited 2017-05-05 14:00 (UTC)

[Obi-Wan meanwhile, has been sitting in his room. His head in his hands as he listened to everything going on outside the door. There was a moment that he worried for Qui-Gon's health, knowing full well what Anakin was capable of when angry.

But then his master manages to diffuse the situation. Of course, he should have had more faith in him. Enough at least that Anakin could walk away.

There was relief, but also grief. There was no holding back the mushrooms that started to dot the floor, and peek out from under his door.]

[He would be a hypocrite to barge into Obi-Wan's room after scolding Anakin for trying to do exactly the same, but the mushrooms poking out from under his former Padawan's door makes it tempting to do exactly that.]

[However, Obi-Wan doesn't need more stress, so Qui-Gon resorts to knocking and calling out in the same quiet tone he used with Anakin, laced more with concern than chastisement.]

Do you want to talk?

[There was a few moments of silence, but eventually the door clicked softly and opened slightly on its own. An invitation for his master to come in.

Obi-Wan having straightened himself up, but was looking distantly at nothing in particular. It wasn't until that Qui-Gon inevitable entered that he spoke.]

Where have I gone wrong, master?

[Qui-Gon doesn't need any more of an invitation as he steps into the room, careful not to crush any mushrooms underneath his feet as he does so.]

[As a mentor, Qui-Gon has been privileged in having his students open up to him to varying degrees. Obi-Wan, although with his own secrets, is far from the exception. Still, the blunt greeting is enough to keep Qui-Gon silent as he considers how best to respond. He doesn't take a seat, not yet, and stands with his arms crossed out of habit. He just doesn't have a robe with billowing sleeves to hide them in.]

You won't find any concrete answer to that question, Obi-Wan.

There are too many variables to consider, including the fact that it is entirely possible you've done nothing inherently wrong.

[Heaving a deep sigh, Obi-Wan looked down again. While having expected such an answer, it still didn't really satisfy him. Maybe if there was something he knew he'd done wrong, it would make him feel better. Something he could fix.

Not having that answer left him feeling helpless.]

I don't know that I can keep doing this.

[Mr. IWantToDoThisMyself had limits, and those limits were being reached. The past month had been perhaps the hardest he's had here yet, and it was taking its toll on him.]

[Seeing his protégé so downtrodden sends a pang through Qui-Gon's heart, but he holds it at bay. Obi-Wan doesn't need pity or sympathy, but support.]

This cycle is going to continue until Anakin understands his selfishness is the root cause of nearly every conflict he's come across thus far.

He needs to realize that an apology is no longer enough and that real change needs to occur, lest he alienate any friends he has left.

[Qui-Gon sighs, and then runs his hand through his hair as it hangs loose and free from the way he usually ties it up.]

It isn't fair for you to constantly bear the brunt of his emotional backlash. Would you consider a period of separation from him?

[Considering Qui-Gon's words silently, Obi-Wan then slowly nodded.]

If he hasn't initiated it already.

[He made it quite clear that he didn't need him. But a separation would be more than not living under the same roof. And at this point, he needed it.]

Luke left behind a farm. I will go there.

[That way if Anakin did come back to this house, there wouldn't be a problem.]

[Qui-Gon sighs and leans his massive frame against a wall.]

Are you that's what you want to do? Your home is here, Obi-Wan.

[Implied: Obi-Wan's family is all here under this one roof.]

I think it would be best, yes.

[It was easy to see his master's concern and he gave a weak smile.]

It's peaceful there, and I have been wanting to do more work on it anyway.

As long as you are sure.

[This is Obi-Wan's choice--one that he's making at Qui-Gon's suggestion, at that. It wouldn't benefit anyone for Qui-Gon to protest further.]

[So he sighs again, lifts himself away from the wall, and walks the short distance it takes for him to stand in front of his former Padawan. As he towers over Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon places a warm hand on his shoulder and gives it a squeeze. It's a sign of reassurance--that Qui-Gon will support Obi-Wan's decision--but also a means for him to gently approach the next topic.]

Could I ask what sparked this particular fight?

[Beggars can't be choosers right?

With the hand on his shoulder, Obi-Wan inclined his gaze. It almost felt strange to not feel a Padawan's braid behind his ear at that moment.

Qui-Gon's support was the most valuable thing to him right now. But the question drew a light sigh.]

The lightsabers. Anakin knows there's duplicates of his here. He was asking about them.

[Qui-Gon nods before slowly pulling his hand away. Otherwise, he doesn't move, staying close to Obi-Wan in a show of solidarity.]

[He looks so much younger than he is, with the way he's glancing up. Behind the beard and the faint tinges of gray starting to pop up in Obi-Wan's hair, Qui-Gon can still see his young, earnest Padawan.]

He'd mentioned wanting his lightsaber so he could leave.

But I feel there is a much more complex story involving him uncovering the duplicates.

[Older and more experienced, but there is still certainly glimmers of that boy Qui-Gon knew.]

And you would be right.

[Of course.]

I don't know how well you knew Finn, but he had one of the lightsabers. When he left, it was left behind. Poe Dameron then saw it fit to give it to Kylo Ren.

[Obi-Wan heaved a sigh, the subject was still an agitating one.]

Rightfully it should have gone to Rey, and she was upset, naturally. I spoke to Ren but was unable to retrieve it. Rey then planned to get it herself, I disagreed and Anakin walked in on our conversation which resulted in an argument.

He waited till now to confront me about the issue again.

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