hadthehighground | Empatheias IC Inbox

[ Anakin has given his former Master plenty of time to fully recover before finally approaching him. But now that he is certain that Obi-Wan has fully recovered, the former Knight doesn't hold back his questions any longer. ]

Why didn't you tell me that there are... Duplicates of my lightsaber here? And just how many of those things are there?

[ Yes, straight to the point. But it's really been bothering him. ]

[It was indeed safe to say that Obi-Wan was feeling better, yes. Though a gloomy cloud seemed to hover over him occasionally, sometimes literally. And with it more mushrooms. He seemed more down and out than usual as of late, though didn't really talk about it.

He had gone back to work and was going about life. So Anakin's question as he came home one day seemed rather out of the blue. Thus earning the younger man a perplexed stare and then a sigh as he went to hang up his cloak.]

And how do you think you would have reacted if I had told you right away?

Edited 2017-05-03 01:45 (UTC)

How would I know? You didn't.

[ Anakin says with a shrug, aware enough of just how moody his former Master has been recently. ]

You're hardly telling me anything anymore. Not unless I come forward to pull the information out of your nose, anyway.

[ A sigh. ]

You're doing it even now.

[ And he's quick to raise a placating hand before Obi-Wan can protest. ]

Look. I know I've not given you any reason to still trust me, but this isn't how we used to work - This isn't how either of us can possibly work and I'm tired of having to watch you trying to do everything by yourself, solving any problem on your own and loading every burden on your own back.

[ The raised hand turns into a warning index finger. ]

Fair warning: If you're making yourself sick again, I'll be back in the kitchen, cooking for you.

[ Accept it, Obi-Wan. Even if you don't trust him, he's back to caring and worrying about his friends. ]

[Obi-Wan just kept going about his business as Anakin spoke. Glancing just as the other put up his hands.

But then there was that word again.]

Why does everything have to always be about trust when you don't get your way?

[The Jedi practically snappping.]

Have you ever considered trusting me for once? Or respecting the fact that you're not ready to hear something?

[Or he's not ready to say it.]

No, this isn't how we used to work. And as much as I wish for those days again, you're not the same person anymore. And neither am I.

[Yep something is definitely eating at him.]

Edited 2017-05-03 11:46 (UTC)

[ Anakin frowns at that reaction. ]

Obi-Wan, it all has always been about trust and nothing else! If I wouldn't be trusting you, I wouldn't still be here, by have left a long time ago - Taking that box you keep my lightsaber in with me.

[ Oh yes, he knows where it is... And he's taking a step towards the Jedi. ]

We may not be the same anymore, but I hoped we were still friends.

[There was a moment's pause but then the Jedi's brows furrowed as he frowned.]

And yet here we are.

[But it was what Anakin said next that really grieved him. And there was now a finger pointing at the young man's face.]

Don't you dare start guilting me. You know full well I would have never taken you into my home if we were anything less!

Edited 2017-05-03 15:32 (UTC)

[ The finger does little to intimidate Anakin. ]

I wasn't exactly homeless anymore by then.

[ Just a small reminder. If he left now, he'd be back to having to find a place on his own again, but that's something Anakin could handle if he had to. ]

Now why do you refuse to tell me what's bothering you?

[This sure sounds a bit familiar. Where has he heard it before?]

That's none of your business.

[Sort of. But he will be going to his room now for some peace and quiet thanks. Provided Anakin doesn't follow him.]

None of my- Hey. Wait!

[ Anakin calls after the Jedi, his frustration rising. He follows, but remains outside the door to the room. ]

Why won't you talk to me?!

[And Anakin will find a door shut in his face. And he will only get one reply.]

You will have to figure out dinner for yourself tonight, Anakin. I'm tired.

This isn't about dinner, Obi-Wan!

[ He's shouting through the door. ]

And you're not even answering me. Why are you making this so complicated?

[Qui-Gon isn't known for his patience unless there's a lesson to be learned or a mission that calls for it. He's even less known for it when it comes to matters of a more childish nature.]

[You know, like two grown men having a shouting match in the middle of a house full of people who should theoretically know better.]

[It's why his own door swings open to allow six feet and four inches of angry Jedi to storm out, a glower darkening his features as his gaze hones in on Anakin. Despite the very visible frustration on Qui-Gon's face, his voice is quiet, if not somewhat menacing.]

Enough.

[ Anakin instantly turns to Qui-Gon once he appears, flinching briefly at the sight, but then refusing to back away. Instead, he gets defensive. Of course, being the only one out here, he now has to deal with Qui-Gon... ]

I just asked him a question!

If this is the reaction you received, then either that is not the case, or it was a question that Obi-Wan does not want to answer. Either way, his wishes should be respected and not turned into a spectacle.

Now, for your sake and for the sake of everyone else in this house, I firmly suggest you leave the matter be.

[Old people get cranky when their meditation session's been interrupted. It's like waking them up from a nap.]

[It goes double when it turns out dinner's cancelled, too.]

[ Biting his lip, Anakin clenches his hands into fists by his sides. Of course he's the bad guy now. He turns his head to the side to glare at the closed door again, a mix of anger, frustration and disappointment radiating clear off of him.

With his voice low, he speaks again. ]

If he can't answer me, he doesn't trust me. If he doesn't trust me, I might as well leave.

[ And he lets his eyes drop to the floor. ]

I want my lightsaber back, then I'm gone.

Don't be ridiculous.

[Seriously, Anakin. Qui-Gon's all about validating emotions and making sure people's concerns are heard, but this is too much!]

Obi-Wan is entitled to his privacy. It isn't a matter of trust, but a matter of respecting the fact that there are things he doesn't want to speak about.

The correct response isn't to try and drag an answer out of him, but to stand back and let him know that when he is ready to share, you will be there to listen.

Wouldn't you want the same deference shown to you?

-doesn't want to speak about with me, you mean.

[ He sends Qui-Gon a sharp look. ]

I'm sure he'd tell you what's bothering him - His fellow Jedi Master.

[ The increasing spite is obvious in his voice. That, and a fresh, yet old surge of anger. ]

But maybe you don't trust me neither. That's why I have to learn everything from outside sources or by chance instead of those I thought to be my friends. I had to learn about Leia from a stranger. Her wedding? I was given a hint from someone else that time. And I have to walk into an argument to learn that there are duplicates of my lightsaber around - That seemingly everyone else was well aware of! And if I dare asking questions?

[ He motions towards the closed door. ]

This is the response I receive? Don't call me ridiculous, Qui-Gon.

[ By this time, Anakin is practically seething, but he also takes a step back, physically distancing himself from the other man. ]

This is what I've always hated about you Jedi.

[ And he's verbally distancing himself. No, Qui-Gon. It was never just Palpatine's fault that Anakin went to the Dark Side. The Jedi Council was just as well to blame for that turn, and Anakin is starting to feel just as unfairly treated here... ]

[Just as Anakin's rage builds, Qui-Gon keeps his own anger in check, relying on his calm to counteract the negativity. His tone remains level, but firm—conceding to Anakin's entitlement would make things worse in the long run, but provoking him further would probably burn down the entire house. That's too much of a pain to deal with right now.]

[He catches both aspects of Anakin's distancing, but makes no move to close their physical gap. There's already too much to unpack emotionally.]

There are things Obi-Wan has never told me, and probably never will. As someone who trusts and respects him and his wishes, I don't try to force him to reveal anything he doesn't want to. He treats me and my wishes the same way.

I can understand the frustration that comes with having information kept from you, Anakin, but demanding that others bend to your will against theirs isn't fostering trust—it's destroying it more. If you want others, your fellow Jedi and otherwise, to open up with you, then start showing us we can by not reacting this way. And be understanding in turn when we reveal that there are simply things we do not want to share.

[ Anakin snarls and looks away, lowering his gaze. As much as he wants to keep raging at the Jedi, he finds it hard. But he finds it just as hard to calm himself down again. But he's silent for a long while. ]

I... I'm not demanding of him to tell me his personal secrets.

[ He finally says, feeling the fist he hasn't been aware he is clenching tremble as he speaks, lingering anger now mixing with embarrassment over his own behavior upon being faced with the Master's calm. ]

But these matters... They concerned me. I would have rather learned them from a friend than from beings I hardly know!

[ Angry hot tears threaten to spill, but Anakin fights them back. For now. But he does look back up, spreading his arms somewhat. ]

These things were bound to come out, Qui-Gon. And look where it has led to try and keep them secret!

[ This is why he told Ahsoka right away... And with this, Anakin moves, still angry, to move past Qui-Gon and towards the front door. ]

[Qui-Gon clearly wants to say something else, give something for Anakin to think about as he walks away.]

[But the younger man is already volatile, and anything else that Qui-Gon can add would only be pouring salt into a very open and confused wound. So he lets Anakin pass, stoicism keeping his features neutral and as if the (almost literal) blow up never occurred.]

[They could talk more once Anakin has calmed down... if he ever calms down.]

Edited 2017-05-05 14:00 (UTC)

[Obi-Wan meanwhile, has been sitting in his room. His head in his hands as he listened to everything going on outside the door. There was a moment that he worried for Qui-Gon's health, knowing full well what Anakin was capable of when angry.

But then his master manages to diffuse the situation. Of course, he should have had more faith in him. Enough at least that Anakin could walk away.

There was relief, but also grief. There was no holding back the mushrooms that started to dot the floor, and peek out from under his door.]

[He would be a hypocrite to barge into Obi-Wan's room after scolding Anakin for trying to do exactly the same, but the mushrooms poking out from under his former Padawan's door makes it tempting to do exactly that.]

[However, Obi-Wan doesn't need more stress, so Qui-Gon resorts to knocking and calling out in the same quiet tone he used with Anakin, laced more with concern than chastisement.]

Do you want to talk?

[There was a few moments of silence, but eventually the door clicked softly and opened slightly on its own. An invitation for his master to come in.

Obi-Wan having straightened himself up, but was looking distantly at nothing in particular. It wasn't until that Qui-Gon inevitable entered that he spoke.]

Where have I gone wrong, master?

[Qui-Gon doesn't need any more of an invitation as he steps into the room, careful not to crush any mushrooms underneath his feet as he does so.]

[As a mentor, Qui-Gon has been privileged in having his students open up to him to varying degrees. Obi-Wan, although with his own secrets, is far from the exception. Still, the blunt greeting is enough to keep Qui-Gon silent as he considers how best to respond. He doesn't take a seat, not yet, and stands with his arms crossed out of habit. He just doesn't have a robe with billowing sleeves to hide them in.]

You won't find any concrete answer to that question, Obi-Wan.

There are too many variables to consider, including the fact that it is entirely possible you've done nothing inherently wrong.

[Heaving a deep sigh, Obi-Wan looked down again. While having expected such an answer, it still didn't really satisfy him. Maybe if there was something he knew he'd done wrong, it would make him feel better. Something he could fix.

Not having that answer left him feeling helpless.]

I don't know that I can keep doing this.

[Mr. IWantToDoThisMyself had limits, and those limits were being reached. The past month had been perhaps the hardest he's had here yet, and it was taking its toll on him.]

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