hadthehighground | Empatheias IC Inbox

OH MY GOSH, ARE YOU PROPOSING TO ANAKIN?!

...

Wait... what?

...Are you meaning marriage? What makes you think that?

Awww come on, Obi-wan-san, you don't need to be shy with me! I mean, weird way of telling me you want my help to propose to Anakin, I don't even remember hearing you call me but yes! I will totally help!

You know, this is so funny! I was just talking to another friend who is also proposing!

[Its a good thing she can’t see him because his face is turning red and he’s running a hand through his hair in a flustered manner. But he manages to keep his cool Jedi composure over the amulet.]

... I think there’s been a misunderstanding.

As much as I love Anakin that’s not... what I had in mind, actually.

You’re the one who contacted me about proposals.

Eh? [A misunderstanding?

At the mention of not proposing, Usagi pouts. Aww, she really wanted to plan that wedding. Finally, an excuse to get the two of them into something form-fitting again!]

I...... contacted... you?

But... why would I contact you about proposals?

That’s why I was asking.

Thoughts of proposal have certainly never come to my mind. Until now that is.

Really? You two already act like a married couple, you know that, right?

... Really?

Considering marriage isn’t something that’s practiced in the Jedi Order, I was not aware of that, no.

You don't have to be married to act like a married couple. But yes, definitely. No one's told you guys otherwise?

Not a one.

[Obi-Wan has always tried to keep their relationship low key. Not entirely to Anakin’s approval either.]

What is it that we do that makes us look like a married couple?

Well, for starters, when you two are around one another, you always give little glances and looks and touches towards one another. I'm not even sure you guys realize it, but it's sweet.

Plus you pretty much communicate wordlessly, if that's a Jedi thing fine, but I mean, is it? [Seriously, someone please explain all of the Jedi rules to Usagi.]

Plus, I don't know. Maybe it's just cause I know you two are together so I know what to look for? I mean, it's like... ugh um... power of suggestion? Or no, I dunno, that's not right. But like, when you know WHAT to look for ya see it, ya know?

I see...I had hoped it wasn’t obvious, but yes the fact that you know probably does make it more noticeable to you.

[That still doesn’t make this not embarrassing for Obi-Wan though.]

As far as how we silently communicate, well, that is a Jedi thing. To a point.

You see, I’ve known Anakin since he was 9 years old. When I took him as my Padawan following my master’s death, we formed a bond. A bond that every student and teacher makes in the Order. It creates a deep spiritual connection between master and student, that aids in the teaching of the Padawan. One can feel and sense the other and their feelings through the Force and use it to communicate. Once the Padawan moves onto knighthood, this bond is usually mutually broken. However, with Anakin and I, we never severed our bond. It was during the war that Anakin was made a knight, and we continued to work together afterward. There was no need to cut that tie as it continued to be beneficial. Our bond has only grown and strengthened, even here in this world.

Ah... ha.... kay...

That sounds.... super intense.

But um... if you were willing to break that rule, why not the marriage one?

[There was a bit of a pause from Obi-Wan at Usagi’s question. It was a reasonable deduction and one that threw him a bit off guard, but not for too long.]

Not all rules are of the same consequence. While maintaining my bond with Anakin was not traditional, there is nothing forbidding it. Especially considering it gave us a certain advantage.

Marriage would take our attachments a significant step further, and there are certain complications with that. More in regards to Anakin than myself.

For one, Anakin is technically already married, which already brings the morality of our relationship into question. For another, Anakin has a history of struggle with attachments and allowing them to influence him. It may not be wise to press those boundaries with him any further.

[While he is cool and collected explaining this, he’s mentally in disbelief that he’s having this conversation and is hoping that will be enough for Usagi to accept it and move on. This was hardly the sort of thing he expected to be talking about today, and he could only hope Anakin didn’t find him in his flustered state.]

[Well, she guesses it makes enough sense, besides, marriage isn't for everyone, and it's as he said, Anakin is already married back home... though they were still dating regardless of that buuuut not her place, she's sure that's something they've talked about.

Obi-Wan didn't strike her as the "homewrecker" sort.

She tilted her head though.]

Well, you know him best.

Still, I'm not sure how much I like something that says "you can't get married" and "you can't get attached to someone." I would make a seriously terrible Jedi.

[His reasoning is partly sense and partly an excuse. It’s true that he and Anakin have talked about it, but Obi-Wan wasn’t entirely comfortable with the way things were. If Padme was to ever come back, he would back off, because no he’s not a home wrecker. He does love Anakin though, and is doing his best to make sure he’s happy and doesn’t fall to the Dark Side. That’s his entire motivation. Marriage though is taking it too far in his opinion.]

Your powers require certain responsibilities don’t they?

It’s the same with us. Ours are tied directly into our emotions and how we feel. It may seem cruel, but if we indulged in every whim and desire, our own selfishness would cause us to use our abilities in a way that could harm others. Thus we are called to live a selfless life to avoid that slippery slope.

I guess... it's because it's just the exact opposite of what I need to be my most powerful, ya know? Like, my emotions, desires, and my heart have to be clear for me to be able to use my powers, but I wouldn't be as strong as I am if I didn't have my loved ones.

I suppose that's the difference between our worlds and how our powers work.

We are not forbidden to have these emotions, they are natural after all. However, we do need to have the discipline to exercise self control. To not allow our feelings to control us. Doing so would lead us down a dark path.

That's not to say my loved haven't given me strength as well. Anakin and I have always worked best together. But on that same note, losing loved ones have very nearly driven me to a dark place. That is why Jedi should not have attachments, or at the very least, be willing to let go of them.

I guess... it just seems like, Jedi are told more than anything what they CAN'T do that it's a wonder there are even Jedi to begin with. Don't get married, don't form attachments to close friends or family, not even your teachers, don't... don't get too angry or too emotional. Have strict control over yourself at all times.

What CAN you do, then? What makes being a Jedi worth not allowing yourself to love or have close friends?

And what about family? You're just supposed to give them up too? You can't even be close with them?

Well, there's an easy answer to that.

Most of us were chosen and brought into the Order before we were old enough to make the decision ourselves. That was so we could be raised and taught in our culture before forming any attachments to parents or anyone else. I was taken from my family when I was six months old, and have never felt any need to be close to them. From an outside perspective that would also seem cruel, but it was necessary. Being a Jedi is a great honor, and I've never wanted anything more from my life.

I think you're misunderstanding though. We are allowed to have friendships and ties to our comrades. But only to a certain degree. We don't live our lives for ourselves, instead we live to serve others. That is the purpose of the Jedi Order, and I've always found great fulfillment in that.

[She pressed her lips together because Obi-Wan being taken at six months to be trained and told "it's an honor to be a Jedi..." of course he wouldn't want anything else, how would he know what else he could have. But she wasn't going to say such a thing because she knew how much it meant to him.

A senshi was tasked with guarding her planet, but she could still choose not to. Galaxia had outright destroyed hers and remained a senshi regardless. She served her entire galaxy, that didn't mean she wanted to do it with the most shallow of relationships.

She'd still yet to hear anything that made being a Jedi "an honor."]

So only the Jedi can serve others? No one else can help? [Was that it? Was that why he was so okay with this? She made a lot of sacrifices too for her galaxy, so maybe that was why he was willing to do it, if no one else but the Jedi could keep the galaxy safe. She could kind of understand that, at least?]

[Obi-Wan certainly could choose not to be a Jedi. They weren't jailers after all, and there have been those who have left the Order. But as Usagi suspected, it did mean a lot to him. Especially considering he nearly missed out on the chance to be a knight when he was young and no one had chosen him as an apprentice.]

I suppose that depends on your definition. Politicians help the galaxy, law enforcement as well, but what distinguishes a Jedi is our ability to use the Force.

We had been the peacekeepers of our galaxy for millennia. Up until our destruction that is.

But what about... um... Six? Sis? SITH! What about them? I mean, they are bad, right? But can't they use the Force too?

Which... destruction are we talking about, exactly? [The one Anakin apparently causes or something else?]

Yes, they do. They are the product of those who give into their passions and desires. They are the opposite of the Jedi in that they seek to gain only for themselves, and will harm anyone who stands in their way.

[At her next question there was a pause before he answered.]

The Jedi Order was wiped out by the Sith. Of which Anakin had a significant part in.

So either... follow your passions and desires and become evil... or... give up any attachments to everyone you could possibly love but help the universe? I... think I'll just pass on the Force entirely. It sounds pretty terrible that those are literally my only options.... no offense!

Ah... so... we're talking about the thing Anakin is trying so hard to avoid... Do you think that when he goes back he can actually change it?

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